Sunday , October 22 2017
Home / Gists / How I Became An Unrepentant Amebo(Thread)..

How I Became An Unrepentant Amebo(Thread)..

So here’s another Thread from a Friend @OGCarterMillz

This story happened in my former hood when I was serving in Abuja. That’s how we heard shout one morning as I was preparing for work. So me na…I’m a Nigerian and I naturally love aproko so I relaxed to hear gist…

There’s this woman in our yard, Mummy Sandra. She gave birth to a baby boy recently…the boy doesn’t look like his father sha (claps hand like a gossip).

REWIND: Mummy Sandra is happily married to Daddy Sandra and they already have one child, Sandra. Daddy Sandra works in Kogi State so he travels and comes back on weekends. Please o, I’m just a humble neighboring pelzin but I won’t lie…Mummy Sandra is still young and fine and…
There is this barrister in our area…Barrister Chidi. I don’t like him. He refused to give me lift one day when I was going to Area1 and he was obviously headed there too (story for another day). Back to the story. The previous year, Daddy Sandra was transferred to Kano State so he was now coming home once in two weeks. It’s not like I’m a gossip but I usually see Barrister entering Mummy Sandra’s house anytime Daddy Sandra travels…

It started from him helping her gather clothes when it was raining, then she asked him to stay and drink peppersoup. Peppersoup o! Peppersoup is evil. We hate Peppersoup now. That’s how it began o. Fast forward to the present. We heard shouts in the morning o. We all came out. I was dressed for work and I said lemme hear small gist before going. Daddy Sandra started narrating…I joined Landlord on the long gossip bench and started listening to gist. First of all, Daddy Junior started…his wife gave birth to a ‘laiskin’ baby, he didn’t complain cos the mother is a laiskin woman too plus the baby looked a lot like her. Americanas here, ‘laiskin’ is Amebo language for ‘light skin’. I see y’all fellow Amebos reading this like…

I looked at my landlord like…he smiled back and we continued to hear the story…

I was owing rent but my landlord didn’t remember because Amebo ti take over so I kept listening to Daddy Sandra…What brought us here??? The new baby fell sick and was taken to the hospital. Uncle Doctor said the baby has Jaundice and needs blood. Daddy Sandra kuku agreed to donate ni (eez his shaild na)…but his blood didn’t match…

Daddy Sandra was like… Mummy Sandra was like.. Doctor was like… Even the baby was like… They were all like…

“So wetin come happen na?”, I asked…
Daddy Sandra started shedding tears. It appyaz (appears) that he’s not the true father. I just spread my mouth like King sized bedspread and shouted, ” Aiye le ibosi ooo…not the father ke?”.

Oga Landlord was like…go on
So Daddy Sandra started drilling his wife (all these happened the previous day at the hospital o) to confess if she has had an affair with anybody. After series of threats, promises and even consulting of juju pelzins (this foolish boy used my picture as a meme…yes, I’m an actress too)
Mummy Sandra finally confessed to having an affair with Barrister Chidi (kiloshele gon gon!!!). Hmmm…story no end there o. That was the reason for the uproar that morning but most important thing first, baby needs blood. So Barrister has to follow them to the hospital to donate. Y’all won’t believe this, but I called my boss that day and told him I woke up feeling feverish and needed to go to the hospital and he let me off. I now followed them to the hospital inside Oga Landlord’s car just because of Ameboness…we practically lapped each other so that car will enter us
We got to the hospital and did blood test to see if Barrister Chidi Emmanuel Okeke Esquire’s blood was compatible…IT WASN’T! Plus he has HIV too😏

Daddy Sandra was now visibly furious, “Who is the Father na?!”. Mummy Sandra was now shaking but when she saw that her baby might die, she decided to confess. Hmmm, my brothers and sisters!!! Konji is wicked! I hate konji because of this now. It was Boda Luke o! Boda Luke , Daddy Sandra’s nephew that came to stay with them while awaiting

NYSC deployment. He was always coming to my place to pose with my NYSC khaki. Imagine Boda Luke of yesterday… Sleeping with his Uncle’s wife right under his travelling nose. Mummy Sandra still transferred her konji to Barrister when Luke went to obey the clarion call. At this point, Daddy Sandra’s head was doing, ” Skraaaaaa! Pa! Pa! Pa! Pa! Pa! Skibiti! Pa! Pa!”. We now called Luke o…thank God he was serving at Mararaba in Nassarawa State. He now came over and they did blood test but it was still not compatible.

By then, Daddy Sandra’s anger was doing, “Skiaaaaaaa! And a pum!pum!pum!pum!pum”. He was not about to find out that another person was sleeping with his wife too…this life..
He started suspecting all of us…even landlord sef was suspecting himself😂😂😂. Mummy Sandra was in tears. She swore it was only those two people that she had an affair with. I was now very angry like, ” Little Baby where are you now from?!!!!!!!”

Baby was looking at me like…

Then out of the blues…a medical report now came in. The hospital had a mixup, turns out the initial blood tested for Daddy Sandra was mixed with someone else’s own. Daddy Sandra was the real father. I dunno how the blood mixup happened…sha he donated blood to his wife.

The truth of the whole matter now is…the story is completely FICTIONAL (I’m in my house coman beat me na).’

Real question here is, If you were in Daddy Sandra’s position, what will be your next course of action????

Drop your comments down below and don’t forget to go follow the author of this beautiful piece @OGCartermillz on Twitter.

Facebook Comments

Check Also

My Sexual Encounter With My Integrated Science Teacher.

One Monday morning we were having Ms. Theresa, she walked in, she was on a …

Leave a Reply